Who am I?

I thought I knew who I was.  What I liked and where I was going.  I remember writing my five-year plan and beginning the breakdown of big goals to easy to take steps.  It was great! But it was a long time ago.

We read and learn new techniques for getting where and what we want out of life but sometimes we continue following old strategies.  It has become time to look at my old goals and make new ones.  No I am not one of those amazingly efficient people who have crossed everything off my list but I have realised that some of the old goals don’t fit me anymore.  Good and bad, it is time for revamping the plan.

Our interests change, thank goodness! We grow ap and grow wise – at least we hope to.  Part of getting started again is really looking at myself and answering those simple questions.  Still the same food, book and movie I had ten or even twenty years ago? Doubtful! Same friends, interests and hobbies? Do I even have any hobbies anymore! Pretty funny!

About eight years ago I ransacked my life, threw out a lot of my old things, clothes and accomplishments.  I felt like I was hiding behind them. I was no longer able to define myself as for example a ballet dancer since I quit dancing at eighteen.  I was no longer a teacher because I stopped teaching at twenty-four.  I was now a mother, and wife and needed to find out what else made up this new person I had become.  It was a scary transition, and not being able to answer all my own questions about the new me I needed some dates to get to know myself.  Once again this sounds ridiculous – but it is so true!

As I stated before, I went through this eight years ago and feel the time has arrived again.  The time to finish my studies is soon approaching.  This means, new job, in my new career! My children are not toddlers but school age and starting to develop interests and hobbies of their own.  Needless to say I need to up my mommy skills and prepare for teenagers and young adults in my home.  If I treat them like babies, I will be resented.  If I force myself to continue on paths I have traveled or outgrown I will resent it too.

So, time to look in the mirror and get to know this more mature version of the quirky me.  It can be exciting, daunting and well an adventure of a lifetime.  Again. 

Safe travels my friends.  And all courage to meet your new challenges and goals.

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About mainbean

I graduated december 2014 from Bergströms a Counselor specialized in Co-dependency Therapy. I love to read, discuss and learn. I usually write every other weekend and hope to see how much I grow during this process.
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4 Responses to Who am I?

  1. lexiconlover says:

    I look in the mirror and don’t even recognize myself anymore, which is pretty scary. I seem to have lost myself along the way. Kudos to you for re-defining. I am just beginning to learn me.

    • mainbean says:

      I am excited for you, the realisation of non-recognition is huge. The door is open, take courage and walk through. I and many others are excited to hear about your adventure of discovery!

  2. WordsFallFromMyEyes says:

    Wow – you voluntarily ransacked your life & did all that jettisoning & discarding VOLUNTARILY? Excellent choices, I’d say, inspired by inner wisdom knowing it was ‘time to do that’. You sound an interesting individual. Don’t live around the corner from Melbourne Victoria, perchance? 🙂

    • mainbean says:

      Voluntarily… yes and no! But yes I knew it was time to let go although VERY painful at the time. I had a conversation recently with a man going throught the same changes and was able to express the relief to find another person that can really understand. I think we must be many walking these paths together but no one is talking about it! Wish I was i Melbourne, maybe someday!

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