Look at me

Domestic Violence

Domestic Violence (Photo credit: UMWomen)

Just look at the person or people you work with. Really see them.  It is one of the most difficult steps for many of us that work with people everyday: dare to see the signs and ask if someone has or is experiencing violence.  We can make this a little easier on us if we remember that violence in relationships is fairly common and it causes mental and physical pain.  That pain can last a life time, so daring to ask the question now is far less painful than suffering the consequences of not asking!  We don’t have to ask with words we can use a questionnaire.

You know domestic violence is nothing that happens over night or just once.  The victims have become accustomed to defending or at least making excuses for why they are on the receiving end.  It takes a long time for these individuals to trust someone enough to admit the humiliation and belittling that they are experiencing.  It is a painful process, not just telling others, but with each word we feel like we are betraying someone else, and at the same time admitting maybe for the first time that the pain and confusion they have been dealing with are real.  Not just nightmares like they wished they were.

I don’t understand why this topic is so danced around when it happens so often!  We forget to ask about the children and the pets in the home.  We don’t want to get involved, or accuse someone when we havent seen anything for sure.  But have we asked them? Have we wondered why we have the gut feeling something is wrong?

I am challenging myself to see, ask and listen.  I am challenging myself to read more and educate myself so I am prepared for the time I have finished my schooling and am actually sitting across from someone who is depending on me.  They are not depending on me to fix the problem, but to listen, ask and wait, support and try to understand.  Again and again as many times as it takes untill they themselves have made up their minds that it is time for change.  That is when time for change has come for good.

 

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About mainbean

I graduated december 2014 from Bergströms a Counselor specialized in Co-dependency Therapy. I love to read, discuss and learn. I usually write every other weekend and hope to see how much I grow during this process.
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3 Responses to Look at me

  1. Ayumi says:

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  2. Kathy says:

    It is good that we don’t avert our eyes, to look closely and lovingly at our co-workers and friends–and to be proactive if they need help. Thank you.

    • mainbean says:

      Thank you for stopping by! Sometimes it is really hard to look with love, but usually there is a good explanation for strange and even bad behavior!

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