I did not believe you

Feeling So Real

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It is not easy to say sorry.  I personally have a really hard time and i haven’t figured out why but i am working on it.

I was talking to my girlfriend who is a recovered addict and we were having a great discussion about the situations we have both “survived”.  I was able to explain to her as a co dependent and she received some insights about her husband’s experience and i had a real aha moment.

I am so thankful i dared to open up and that she did too.  I was able to apologize for not believing someone else close to me about the pain and fear they were experiencing as they fought the battle to leave an addiction behind them.  I had turned off my feelings and was filled with hate and anger. I didn’t care when my “loved one” was feeling faint, heart racing, feeling ill, headaches, angst, and the list goes on.  Honestly i didn’t have the strength to care.  How and why was i in this situation?

The fact is I did not set my boundaries. I allowed  people to hurt me and never left or said NOW IT IS ENOUGH.   I felt i had the right to punish them after they hurt me, I have been spiteful and malicious in action and word.  Remembering I chose to behave like this to someone i promised to love and respect is painful and embarrassing because i would NEVER even treat a stranger like that.

It’s never to late to say sorry.  I learned  today that I now have the courage to say I am sorry for the pain i caused and the responsibility I didn’t take.  I think i have learned my lesson – my life will show my intentions.

About mainbean

I graduated december 2014 from Bergströms a Counselor specialized in Co-dependency Therapy. I love to read, discuss and learn. I usually write every other weekend and hope to see how much I grow during this process.
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