One track mind

I have always had a one track mind, mom said so anyway – called it tunnel vision.  I danced ballet and it was all i wanted to do.  I wanted to be perfect, skinniest, best feet most turns, good jumps, highest extension and longest balances!  It’s good to have goals i have always heard. 

I have always had a hard time to know the difference between a dream and a goal.  For me they are the same.  The dream is the goal.

Anyway, after becomimg very serious about my dancing, mom thought it was getting a little to serious and wanted to help me see I could do other things also.  So i got to try out for cheerleading!  It was fun but i didn’t really fit in, or atleast that is how it felt for me. So back to ballet after that year.  I don’t remember much else except all the love, sweat and tears involved with dance untill yet another intervention and this time with modeling as the new adventure.  It was said,” no modeling no dance.”  This sounds funny to me today but back then it was a serious threat.  It was as if dance was my life, the air i breathed, it was in my every thought and movement.  There was little space for anything else.  So the nightmare of modeling began.

Oh yes, it sounds like poor me, poor me. A dancer,a model,a cheerleader… But the truth by me is this,  it does not matter how wonderful a gift or opportunity you are giving if the receiver does not see it that way.  I was not trying to be difficult I just did not understand why I had to do other things that i was not interested in.  Even if it was fun, and even if it was someone elses dream.  It was not mine.

  I am trying to remember that as I make decisions and creat opportunities for my children.

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About mainbean

I graduated december 2014 from Bergströms a Counselor specialized in Co-dependency Therapy. I love to read, discuss and learn. I usually write every other weekend and hope to see how much I grow during this process.
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